< Back

Deferred Happiness Syndrome

When you feel that life has not begun.

An eternal prelude...

“The common feeling that your life has not begun, that your present reality is a mere prelude to some idyllic future.

This idyll is a mirage that'll fade as you approach, revealing that the prelude you rushed through was in fact the one to your death.”
-- Gurwinder Bhogal

I've often felt that I couldn't begin to truly live life until [insert some point in the future].

"When I get a proper adult job, then I can live life."

"When I buy a house, then I've made it."

"When I've paid of my loans, then I can relax."

That feeling of always being in the prelude to life... that's a very common feeling.

And it contributes to believing that one is never ready.

Marie-Louise von Franz calls this the "provisional life":

“There is a strange feeling that one is not yet in real life.
For the time being, one is doing this or that… [but] there is always the fantasy that sometime in the future the real thing will come about."

Chris Williamson reflects on this and chooses to cherish the present...

"I regularly have this sense of foreboding and guilt about time slipping away.

That I’m not making enough of my days.

Especially when I look back on a week and I know I’ve done things and dedicated myself to pursuits and working hard, but I can’t really fully recall how I actually spent my time.

So I worry that this is just a one-week microcosm of how I’ll look back on my entire life.

...

I think it’s quite likely that when you look back, these times right now will be the ones you cherish.
So approach them with requisite joy and care and presence."

Of all the things to stop procrastinating on, living life to the fullest is at the top of the list.

You don't have to wait. Because that hypothetical life in the future is imaginary.

Don't get addicted to anticipating a better tomorrow.

I like to think about it like this: I am currently living the years my younger self dreamed about.

So here's to a life of joy and peace.

Nathanael Chong_Profile Picture
Nathanael Chong

Multi-passionate creative and cultural philosopher. I love talking psychology, culture, education, and anything else that deals with living as better people.

Related Essays